A reflection from the archives, marking a quiet milestone of recovery, self-liberation, and the emergence of true mind.

Undulating like the flicker of a candle flame dancing in the wind of our shared breaths, my heart flutters with the swelling gratitude of all I have lived over the course of this last year. I have grown like the vivacious pines that stalk up the hill next to my home. I have curved like the weighted birch bending ‘neath recent sheaths of ice. I have emptied like fields after harvest, and filled like spring’s vernal pools.

Swimming as I have in the deep hidden pool of my heart, I have taken the time to recollect each stone previously placed at the bottom of the waterfall. Collecting the waters, my pool has grown, expanding to accommodate the refreshing flow of presence, allowing the dance to be one of receiving, accepting, reviewing, celebrating, and ultimately letting go.

I am the water, dancing.

I am the stones piled below, reflecting golden in the shimmery dappled light from the forested sunshine above.

I myself am StoneWater.

Having taken the necessary pause to reclaim all the previously hidden, missing pieces—having cataloged and analyzed each grain of sand in my mind, each smoothly rounded pebble, each hefty river stone—I am fully aware now of all that I possess, fully conscious of the richness that was waiting below the surface.

I possess, now, tremendous confidence in the profoundly abiding presence of my mind, trusting my body to navigate all the changing terrain of life’s daily environments because I have gathered the skills and tools required. I have honed my ability to discern what is needed, and when.

I did this. I gave myself this past year to fully recover from being buried by others’ needs. I created a safe haven for myself to heal from the lashings of other people’s poverty. I liberated myself from the cycles of unnecessary caretaking.

I woke myself up.

It is no small thing, though from another perspective, it is the smallest, most unseen thing. But having tasted my truest mind, there is now no turning back. Having created the architecture that allows me to live a waking dream, replete with profound love and the truest nourishment, there is only the vividly enticing sensation of delight pulling me into every next moment.

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